Coping with cancer.

9 days later…..

Quote  “I want to reach out and grab his hand and hold it to me, right over my heart, right where it aches the most. I don’t know if doing that would heal him,  or make my heart break entirely, but either way this constant hungry waiting would be over.”
― Ally CondieMatched 


WordPress are telling me that my stats are “booming”.  Which is strange because I have not posted anything for over a week mainly because I have been really busy and not had much to say..

I can only assume that people are actually interested in what is happening and are logging in to see if there is any news.  That moves me to tears that people really care.

So, an update…… no results yet regarding the cancer, we have to wait till December 3rd for that.

The PET scan that will tell us if the cancer cells have been zapped, was last Thursday, all seemed well and we celebrated by going to watch “the Butler” at the cinema.

Then on Friday afternoon Michaels temperature suddenly went up and he was admitted to hospital.  I knew that his neutrophils ( the cells that protect him from infection) were low on Wednesday, but this turn of events were so unexpected.

He suddenly seemed very ill and I must admit all my coping skills deserted me and by Friday night I was really freaking out.  In my head I had him dead and buried by Christmas.

Eventually my dear friend Lizzie calmed me down, just by listening.  It is amazing how just voicing your worries, no matter how stupid they seen can help.

We also watched the 50th anniversary of “Dr Who” and I converted her to be a fan of “Borgen”.  So something good came out of it after all!

Three days, isolation, tests, blood cultures, ECG, swabs, Chest Xrays and antibiotics and other drugs  later.  he was discharged and they did not find any source of the problem, so the good news is that he has been thoroughly checked over and they found nothing….so it’s just the cancer then !!!

Since then he has slept most of the time and   I’m feeling rather lonely, but much less anxious than a week ago.

I was reminded by one of the blogs I have been reading that humour is very important and this is something I really lost over the weekend.

Being a natural pessimist, I am not naturally humorous, or rather my humour is that of the ironic kind and often black, but I found it impossible to find anything funny about the situation over the weekend.

So maybe instead of watching the news in the mornings I should start watching Frazier,  after all I can do nothing about world peace at the moment!


As I said we watched “the Butler”  a film about a black boy growing up in America who becomes a butler in the White house.

Not wanting to give the plot away.  Racial discrimination and civil rights movement in the US is well known about,  but  I have to say I found this a rather disturbing and depressing film.

When I thought about WHY I found the film disturbing I decided that it is because there is absolutely NO humour in the film.

Contrast this with “Philomena” a film we watched last week, which I really enjoyed.  Even though the subject matter….Old Irish lady looking for son, forcibly taken away from her 50 years ago, by Nasty catholic nuns... made me cry.  There were moments of ironic humour in this film, thanks to Steve Coogans screenplay, who played the pretentious journalist who is trying to write her story.

All jokes  will be welcome!!!!

Love Denise


17 thoughts on “9 days later…..

  1. Denise – please know that we in “blog-reading land” do care … And are very interested and concerned about you and Michael. Thoughts and prayers are with you both. — Mimi


  2. Of course your friends are anxious for news ! Sorry that you have to wait till Dec 3rd, I had thought that by tomorrow (the 27th) you would know it all … Glad that films could take your mind off your worries, even if very temporarily. Have you started planning/buying the grandchildren Christmas presents ? That would be a distraction too.


    • Yes Anne, originally we had an appointment for the 27th, but the results will not have been sent to Bolton yet so this appointment was rescheduled.

      Ues I have sent some presents to Father Christmas. Lovely to see all the Christmas lights in the stores. Thanks for your helpful suggestion. Love Denise


  3. What an awful rollercoaster you are on. I’m glad that knowing your blog readers are wishing you well helps a bit. Here’s hoping for the best news on the 3rd.

    I’m looking forward to seeing ‘Philomena’ but have to wait until Boxing Day for it to open here in NZ! Bossy I xx


  4. Hi Denise … Our thoughts, prayers and love are with you and Michael as you wait for your positive word next Tuesday, the day after Brenda has her surgery. Sending all the positive energy we can muster to you and Michael from now until next week …


  5. So happy he’s home and if you ever want a good cheering up, please let me know. I’ll send Roniece right over. In fact, even if you don’t need a good cheering up, I’ll still Roniece. How’s that?


  6. Oh, Michael — you make me laugh. Thank you!

    Denise, As always, I’m keeping Michael and you in my thoughts. I hope that you’ll receive good news on December 3 and that your life can return to normal.

    Thank goodness that Lizzie was there when you needed someone to listen!


  7. Well, Hooray for Lizzie! Everyone needs a friend like that in life.

    Having to wait for test results is always a stressful time. With all the medical advances these days it really would be great if there was a faster turn-around time for this kind of information.

    Take care of yourself, Mez xx


  8. Thanks for sharing the latest updates. You are certainly allowed to see no humour in your annd Michael’s situation whatsoever, so being sad and anxious is rather a sign of your mental sanity, dear. We all hope and pray for the best, you have both been going through a rough time this year. Love, Gitte


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