black clouds in the sky today

black clouds in the sky today

Ok, so I have been absent without leave recently.

Not sure why, but I developed almost a complete writing block a few weeks ago.

Faced with a blank sheet of paper, keyboard, blog, email and even facebook I struggled to find words to write.

 After a lifetime of frantically and secretly scribbling my thoughts and feelings suddenly there was nothing there…..I was spent!  nil!, nothing! zilch!

I started a creative writing class two weeks ago and thought that might give me some inspiration, but on the first night the tutor asked us to outline the plot of a favourite book and I could not think of one book I liked, not one!.  Me,..  who usually has two or three books going at the same time!

The tutor, who co-incidentally knows both me and Michael, said “don’t worry, you have a lot going on at the moment” .. which is true

so why can I not find any words to write?

 I am now writing about it, in the hope that the block will be lifted.

and what has been going on in my life?


1.My bike was stripped of all it’s accessories whilst I had popped into the bike shop for some new batteries for the lights.  (enter expletive to describe these people!)

2.I accepted an offer on my house and have a completion date of December 15th.  Help!!

3. House hunting is all consuming.   I am either trawling the internet looking for suitable properties, viewing potential properties or obsessing if I am doing the right thing.

 Emotional rollercoaster!

4. Michael has had chemotherapy number 5, and blood transfusion number 4.  He has got progressively more fatigued and is now spending most of the time in bed.  He seems a bit fed up by this. as am I and just wants it all to end.

One more session to go.

5.I think I just continue on autopilot.   I keep trying to find things to be grateful for each day.  Which really helps.  I meditate in the mornings to focus my mind and my mantra is “peace and love” .

I won’t allow any negative thoughts to linger for long and try to watch only cheerful programmes.  My philosophy is that..

 I might as well be cheerful  as miserable during this bleak period in our lives. as it makes life easier.

6. Downton Abbey has started again on UK TV.  But last week I fell asleep before it finished!!


7.My fridge freezer died! .( the day after my bike was robbed)  the positive aspect of this is that it gave me the opportunity to buy a newer, bigger model which I have needed for a while.

8. The toilet got blocked up the day after the fridge died!  It never rains but what it pours!  as my Grandma used to say.

 You sometimes just have to laugh at the irony of life!

So onward and upwards as they say.

Hopefully I will be back to blogging soon.

Love Denise



  1. So does that mean Ramsbottom plans are afoot? And missing the end of last week’s Downton Abbey might have been for the best. It took an unexpected turn.


  2. Boy, Denise, as if you haven’t got enough to cope with without thefts and appliance breakdowns! I admire your ability to still crack jokes and hope that by writing this post you have felt a bit cheerier. They say selling/buying/moving house is one of life’s more stressful experiences, so I’m wondering if leaving it until the Spring might be an idea? Like all your readers, I’m wishing you (and Michael) all the very very best. Bossy x


    • Hi bossy. I put the house on the market before Michael became ill the Bolton housing market is depressed and was going to withdrawn till he was over the chemo, but a cash buyer came along and I really couldn’t let her go. Michael encouraged me to accept the offer. If it comes off we will have so much more spare money to enjoy our lives when he is better and if he doesn’t get better I will have the freedom to stop working to look after him. I hate having to go to work and leave him when he is fed up. So waiting till spring is bot really an option. Love Denise zz


      • Oh I am really glad about that cash buyer, then! 🙂 I retired in August (for the third time, and this time I really mean it as I’ve just turned 65, which is when you get your pension in NZ) and I can tell you: not working is really good – I am loving the freedom! Bossy x


  3. When it rains in Bolton, it certainly does pour! Any of the items with which you’re dealing would be more than enough for the average person. Thank goodness that you’re taking time to meditate and settle your mind in the morning. You have to make sure that you stay healthy while dealing with the aftermath of bicycle thefts and blocked toilets. Whether you write a blog post or not, you and Michael are in my thoughts. I wish Michael courage for his final chemotherapy session.

    If you end up homeless before Christmas, there’s always Paris!


  4. Wow Denise, you certainly have a lot on your plate at the moment! As ever I’m full of admiration for the way you cope with your problems. Hopefully you will find the home you are looking for soon, before December anyway! This blog entry shows that you are determined to get over your writer’s block. You have so much on your mind though I’m not surprised you were unable to think of book titles and plots. As Mary Kay says you and Michael are in my thoughts. Hang in there, and take care of yourself. Love Janet xx


  5. Hi Janet. Still trying to find a window to meet you in Manchester. Thanks for your good wishes. I am not that admirable, I have had a bit of a melt down this week!…..still the end is in sight, one one more chemo session and one more blood transfusion to go now.
    Love Denise


  6. Whew!!!! Sorry for all these troubles for you Denise! I know it’s difficult but keep staying strong – you are remarkable – not sure I could handle all this so well! Thinking of you and Michael and still saying prayers! Hugs


    • Hi Sandy. Thank you so much for your prayers. I am not that strong. I had a bit of a melt down last week! LOL!. Michael seems to be coming out of his malaise from last week and my stress levels are coming down. So feel much better now. Love Denise


  7. Now that’s just plain shitty; stealing your bike (well most of it at least) as you are going into a bike shop for a battery. Come on. What a creep.

    Good for you for being proactive and signing up for a writing class. I really commend you for that; getting out there and doing something for you. It was only the first class and it’s normal to be stuck also, considering what’s on your mind but I see you really thriving from this and future classes! Keep us posted.

    It’s hard sometimes to stay positive but it looks like you’re on the right track and will be busy with your upcoming move. December 15th! That’s close! Good luck, and sending love your way. xo.


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