Reading the Sunday Times supplement the other day, I suddenly began to wonder if I am living in a parallel universe.
For example did you know that it is no longer de rigueur to take photos of your genitals to text to your friends, in fact it is now passe. This trend has sadly passed me by.
The more chic alternative is to take a picture of your sexy derrière and text that to your chums instead because the derrière is “more anonymous than your breasts,” photos of which are passed around at dinner parties in games of “guess the tits!” Apparently.
Well what fun me and my mates have been missing! !!!! not!
The other thing is that, I have never heard of half the “celebrities” featured. .
Rosamond Pike????? Who, it seems, has been cast as the heroine in the film of the boook of the moment, Gone Girl????…….must look that up on play books!
Apparently she is the single mother of a son named Solo and has had a notorious chequered love life but is now cosily settled. . ( bless !)
She was photographed for the supplement wearing a casual outfit whose total worth was £2266… more than the average UK person earns in a month. …which didn’t include the cost of the underwear.
Model Lily Cole (who?) Was pictured enjoying some bash or other drssed as a mermaid.
And Sara Cox, who I always knew as a, hard drinking, hard playing, ladette and boy band musician Mark Owen were described as “oldies”!
By the way, did you know that the best sunscreen for the Uk is Chanel UV essential daily UV care multi-protection Anti pollution ( deep breath)…. a snip at £41. Only about six hours pay for those on minimum wage then.
And I was so glad I didn’t miss the etiquette page, which seriously advised me that the answer to flatulence in a car was to drive at 60mph with the windows open. ….I always wondered why my friends never accepted lifts from me!
On the other hand it was reassuring to know that good old British firm, Marks and Spencer have a new advertising campaign using some of the best British woman although I only recognose Tracey Emin and Helen Mirren.
By the way, can sombody explain who the Kardashians are? sounds like some sort of Scottish folk group.
A year ago I was talking about my family heart condition.