three in the relationship 001

…you me and the internet”  said my husband laughing as he caught me in bed with my netbook.

(I was actually also watching celebrity Big Brother and texting my daughter at the same time …. so what he didn’t know is that it was an orgy of things he hates me doing!)

He is right,  I spend far too much time on the internet, and I am sure you know what it is like.    You think to yourself,I will just look what, facebook/tripadvisor/Fred/Mary Kay/Sylvia/Ella/ etc, is saying, or even more importantly reply to my replies… and the next thing half the day has gone.

Still, this came from a man who spends most of the day watching The Racing channel.

 One of our grandsons asked  as they visited over Christmas.  .” why is Garndpa always watching the horses?”….. out of the mouths of babes I say.    Of course he denies this.  ( “I only watch racing in the afternoon when you are at work”)   just as he denies his attachment to the clicker, ( remote control) probably like every other man I have come across.

I think TV adverts are wasted on men I,   because if they are anything like mine, they spend the whole of the commercial break flicking from one channel to another,  stopping just long enough for you to get interested, before continuing to surf the networks.

The most irritating thing is,  if he goes to make a brew, or the toilet or  answer the phone, and inevitably have a lengthy conversation,   he takes the darned thing with him.    So as I eagerly pounce to turn the TV over from said Racing Channel I to something I am interested in,   I CAN’T FIND THE REMOTE!

I wonder if they deliberately made TV remote controls phallus shaped ( lets face it they are!)  so that men would take ownership of them?  I wonder if they were round or curved, like a baby,  things would be different.

Anyway I digress, back to t’internet.  What is it that makes social media so addictive?    I think social media can provide a very good social contact for people who are housebound or isolated for some reason and it is a very good way of keeping in touch with those you do not see every day,  but God forbid I would become one of those persons for whom my internet life becomes more important than reality.

We have all asked ourselves about certain people who seem to spend a lot of time answering questions on Tripadvisor or similar ( you know you have!) and those people for whom these kind of websites  seem to become their daily entertainment.

 They deliberately seem to be grumpy or critical often launching into innocent newcomers who have no idea what they are letting themselves in for with their perfectly reasonable query of what do people think of their apartment and then get a long argument as to whether their seven year old should be able to climb five flights of stairs!

I  often wonder if these opinionated  guardians of other peoples lives are really mild mannered  sycophants who let their alter egos let rip on line, in a way they could never do in real life.

……and then I get bloggers block and realise I have absolutely no idea how I am going to finish this blogpost or where it is going.

So I leave it a couple of days and then find myself tossing and turning,, unable to sleep.

This blog s taking over my life.  Am I becoming  one of those people ?.  Why am I  striving to meet a self imposed deadline of blogging every other day?

What did I do before I discovered tripadvisor. That was where  it started.  I became obsessed with keeping up with each query, each post.  Then from that I went to ourparis forum, which eventially I got bored with,  and yes I met some nice people and made good friends  then progressed  facebook and finally this blog.

I backed away from tripadvisor when I started to become too emotionally involved with a situation where one of my acquaintances was being targeted by some unknown person.  My anger at this unknown person was just out of proportion, it was not even me who was the victim.

So I am gong to give it a rest for a couple of days.  Take off the self imposed pressure.  Wake up and smell the coffee, or whatever.    Go out and get a life.

This blog is meant to be therapeutic not stressful!

I have had nearly 2700 hits since I changed to the wordpress blog on 23rd November, not to mention the 51225 people who have viewed  the previous blog in the last ten months.  Who are all these people?  Why do they not comment?  It is a bit strange to think I am sharing my life with so many.

Thanks for all your support to the regular people who read my musings.  I really appreciate you coming along. and I really look forward to your comments…….and I will be back.

So I have decided, just this minute, I am going to take a blog/internet holiday.  Phew!  ….there, that feels so much better! Maybe I can sleep now.

I am going to Paris next week, maybe I will see you there.

Love Denise.



  1. A rest from writing will no doubt do you good. Have a wonderful time … and you will have plenty to blog about when you get home! I look forward to reading it. GM x


  2. Enjoy your break! My vacation from the internet over the holidays was much appreciated. Ironically enough, social media is going to be one of the topics of my next blog post…as soon as I get around to writing it.

    I hope to see you while you’re in Paris. That way we can catch up with each other face-to-face rather than online!


  3. This is too funny…and then I read Mary Kay’s comment, no way! hahaha Did we all drink the same coffee?
    I wote a post about something very similar to this yesterday and was thinking of posting tomorrow so I don’t post every day…you know, to not look obsessed…LOL

    The Internet can be extremely addictive, it’s happened to me on several occasions to the point where I’m up almost all night reading stuff (the latest addiction are blogs and before that forums)

    I’m trying not to go crazy with my blog and feel like I HAVE to write something, that would be a burden to me and I want to enjoy it. But I hear you..

    I’ll postpone publishing the post I wrote yesterday…it’s way too similar. Really funny, wow what a coincidence!


  4. I understand where you are coming from – the Internet is highly addictive to me and I can’t seem to help myself – guess it started because I was so bored while Tim is either reading, watching football, watching basketball, watching baseball, watching political stuff – you get the idea – we used to sit and watch programs on TV together but don’t even do that anymore as I think I have to be online while I am watching TV!!! Have also gotten hooked on Solitaire Classic and Jewel Quest – have told myself that I will just check e-mail and then turn the computer off but it doesn’t last very long!

    I’ll be interested to know how you get along with your “leave of absence”!! It will help that you will be in Paris and will have so many fun things to do! Enjoy!!

    And of course, we DO want you to get online and tell us what you and Lizzie are doing!! LOL!!!


  5. Also meant to say that it’s interesting to me that Michael can say that you’re so caught up with being on the Internet but can’t seem to recognize that he is just as caught up watching the horse races!! Typical man!!! LOL!!! And that’s not a complaint – just an observation!!!


  6. Hi Denise,
    I missed all your lovely posts because we were away last week in Cuba and had no access to internet. Initially, I was worried about not being “connected” but it was strangely freeing knowing I didn’t have to rush back to my room to check for FB updates or e-mails or catch up on everyone’s blogs. Hubby was also freed from the tyranny of checking work e-mails while on vacation. I also had to laugh and shake my head knowingly at your references at some of the people on TA ~ I know exactly who you mean, lol
    You have continued to be so brave about sharing your life and soul with us ~ your recent posts about your relationship with Michael ring so true and clear and show the ups and downs of a marriage that everyone experiences. Again, I thank you for your honesty in sharing with all of us.
    I loved reading about your time in Paris ~ what a peaceful, lovely time to visit our favourite city and to see it with the one you so clearly love. I truly love all your posts, and even though I don’t always post, I do read every one and savour them and appreciate your words of wisdom.
    I started a new job yesterday after three years of trying to find the courage to make a change. My hope for 2013 is that I made the right decision ~ time will tell.
    Happy New Year my friend ~ I would have loved to meet up in Paris this week, but my new employer would have frowned on me taking a week off after working 4 days, lol. To next time,


  7. Paris again so soon! Have fun! Enjoy the break. I am only taking my ipad to Italy this weekend, but already stressing that I won’t be able to blog properly with it, and what if I take more photos than will fit on my camera?? We do get attached to these things!


  8. I hope to see you while you’re in Paris. I recently remarked that social media keeps people from being social. But it has given me the opportunity to meet some really amazing people I never would have met otherwise, and my TA time lead to my job with The Girls Guide to Paris.
    Although, I have to say, There is a law in my home… no devices near the bed, unless its for alarm clock duty.


  9. Thanks for all your responses. I have stayed away from my blog and only looked at emails as I needed to , but found it very difficult. I miss my online friends. As you say Sylvia, I have met some amazing people who are so different from me that I would never have come into contact in any other way. Some of those people are now my dear friends and my life has been enriched..

    Paris tomorrow. Can’t wait.

    Love Denise.


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