trains Son. Mystery

THE NUMBER ONE LADIES DETECTIVE AGENCY

I always think there should be music playing as the Intercity train elegantly  glides out of Manchester Picadilly station.  Like on the films of the Orient express.

I settle down to two hours of what I enjoy most,… being alone,  without guilt, or feeling weird, because I like to indulge in daydreaming and other self indulgent introspection.  Putting the world to rights in my head.  (do you know if they had only asked ME they could  solve the eurozone crisis in a week, and as  for the NHS…piece of cake!)  
I can’t remember travelling on a trains as a child.  My  engine obsessed fathe always had a car of some sort, at a time when working class people didn’t have cars.  So I never got into the habit of using trains and drove everywhere.
All that changed when I got my magic concessionary travel pass at the age of 60. This enables me to travel free anywhere in the country on buses and  local trains and a third off national trains. Wey hey!!
I had to learn whole new schemas for timetables and stations, message boards and platforms and language?…not just for the incomprehensible announcements, but the tickets,… singles, returns, off peak, any time,  advance, open returns.  An exciting new world.
I study my travelling companions.  A snapshot of our lives.  Why are they on the train? are they going to visit family like me or are they running away?  going back to their lives? or starting new ones?

I settle into my Miss Marple role and try to puzzle out the imaginary mystery of the girl who dissapeared at Stockport and (in my imagination) whose body has  been found in the toilet. She ostensibly had spent all the time from Manchester on the phone to her boyfriend, but really, I know she was sending cryptic messages to her intelligence contact in Eastern Europe.

 I rule out the four young Oriental people  who are pretending to be tourists, but really are on a fact finding mission for when the Chinese call in their loans and take over the western banking system.  THEN all the trains will run on time.

I don’t think the murderer is the girl opposite, as she is texting furiously. Definitely going to meet her secret lover .  They only meet in Birmingham once a month when he is there in business.  Of course once the children are old enough he will be able to leave and they can be together. Unless both children go to university, then  they may have to wait a wee bit longer, as leaving at that critical time might upset their studies …and his wife might get depressed with empty nest syndrome, so  he may have to stay a bit longer… and she just hopes he doesn’t have grandchildren too early or that might delay things too.

But back to solving the murder.  The obvious suspect is the white haired old lady, four seats in front. I just know she works for MI5.  The clipped accent gives it away. ( think Judy Dench as M in James Bond)  in fact it probably IS Judy Dench, who has now taken flexible retirement and just does the odd assassination assignment to keep her hand in.  I am not fooled by the charming smile and the the flute case, which really contains a gun with silencer and the little “grandchild” with her is really a dwarf,  an MI5 trainee, who left the circus to find a more interesting job.

So having solved the  imaginary murder, I settle down to read my book. Michael Mcintyres (British comedian) autobiography. Life and Laughing  Not as funny as I’d hoped and I quickly get bored. So I bring out the snack, lovingly prepared by my dear husband to keep me away from the temptations of the pastries on the tea trolley.

I gaze out of the window.  Wherever I travel, I think, there is nowhere as nice as England’s green and pleasant land.  You can keep your Loire valleys and Swiss Alps, I just love England. So I watch the green fields , cows and sheep and mountains in the distance pass by for a while

I doze for a time, then suddenly we are approaching Birmingham New Street station and my son and his family are waiting.

Denise
Love from Birmingham

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.
    PEOPLE TELL ME THEY HAVE DIFFICULTY POSTING.  I THINK YOU NEED A GOOGLE ACCOUNT.
  IF YOU HOVER OVER THE RIGHT HAND MARGIN OF THE HOME PAGE, IT WILL GIVE YOU A MENU.  CLICK ON “FOLLOWERS” OR  “SUBSCRIBE” AT THE BOTTOM AND SEE IF THAT WORKS
Advertisements

6 thoughts on “THE NUMBER ONE LADIES DETECTIVE AGENCY

  1. That's quite an imagination you have there, Denise! Keep that up and you'll be writing a mystery novel, which will of course be a best seller, instead of your Blog!! Fun post – enjoyed reading it!

    Like

  2. It just needs a bit of filling out and it will be ready for publishing! You don't even need to find a publisher, for a small cost you can publish it yourself on Kindle.Hope you're having a lovely weekend with your son and family. Maybe you'll be able to complete your mystery novel on the return journey.Love from Janet x

    Like

  3. Why oh why did I waste my time watching a movie on my laptop while traveling on the TGV from Switzerland (yes, I'l keep the Alps!) last Friday? Next time, I'll follow your lead and let my imagination run wild. Although I don't think that I'll be able to come up with anything nearly as clever. Good for you for busting Judy Dench's cover. She's a wily Dame!What mystery did you solve on your return trip? And did someone pack a snack for you or did you succumb to the delights on the tea trolley?

    Like

  4. LOL,… ladies. No I didn't solve any mysteries on the way home as I was alone in the quiet carriage, after I asked a man to stop having a conversation on his mobile phone and the other two occupants then left. ( having both made brief calls earlier!) besides I had a new Douglas Kennedy book, "the Big Picture" to read and I DID succumb to the tea trolley as unfortunately I left my carefully prepared healthy lunch bag behind on the local train!

    Like

  5. I'm having a Twilight Zone moment with you Denise1/ I do the same thing on trains (and just about anywhere, my last neighbor was a mafioso)2/ I just got the last book in the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency series to read before my trip to Botswana3/ (and this is really weird) I have the same lunch bag as you!I hear I'll be seeing you in Paris soon. Cheers. S

    Like

  6. Hi Sylvia, that is amazing that you have that lunch-bag, I bought it in an obscure little bag shop in a village in the middle of the Lancashire hills.It's interesting how many people make up stories like this. We must have fertile imaginations.I enjoyed reading the Ladies Detective agancy series books. Hope you have a good tip to Botswana. Fantastic! How I envy you.See you next week in Paris.Love Denise

    Like

Comments are closed.