Every year I am required to have an appraisal. During which I am required to reflect on what has happened over the past year and see how I could have done better (why? I don’t want to do it again!) and visualise where I want to be in the next year. (alive? healthy? happy? what else?) I am even required to make a list!

As a member of AA,  an organisation who’s ethos is ” one day at a time”this really goes against all my philosophy. I find these sessions tedious as I have spent many years trying to “live within the day” and not regretting the past or projecting into the future. This is a  very wasteful pastime at a time in my life when I really don’t have time to waste.

ODAT Butterfly Flowers Poster

This is all very well for some ambitious whizz kid, who doesn’t know any better and possibly needs a plan or some direction  for their life, but I am too long on the tooth for this nonsense.

Everything good that has happened in my life has been unplanned.

I didn’t plan to embark on the career I did.  I was studying textiles and for a joke, a friend sent an application form.   I went along to the interview for curiosity and was too afraid of the stern Victorian lady who told me “you start training on 1st November” 42 years later I am still in the most fulfilling profession in the world!

Children were not in my life plan. After I finished my studies, my plan was to travel the world with my husband, the love of my life and grow old together.  One night after an accident at work I returned home to find him in bed with another woman.  I was in the wrong place at the right time.  Had I not had that accident, had I been in a different place just a few seconds earlier I may still be married to him and childless.

Being completely disillusioned with lurve, I didn’t THEN plan to meet  a man who came from a big family who convinced me that children were a good idea. …..  My children and my grandchildren are the over riding joy of my life!

I used to sit the garden and watch the grandchildren of the old man next door and he would tell me about them over the fence.  I never planned that 15 years later, those children would become my step children, I would be with them at the birth of thier children and have another six grandchildren to bring me joy. 

I never planned to be very ill in my thirties, loosing my marriage but gaining skills to deal with life’s blows in the process.

I never planned to be an alcoholic, and learn a wonderful philosophy for life in my recovery.

I never planned to be a single parent. Working at two or three jobs to make ends meet, but finding self reliance and developing the closest relationship with my children in the process.

……and I certainly didn’t plan to still be with Michael,  twenty odd years later.  I just fancied him and  wanted a fun afternoon! Ha! Ha!……. A  man, ten years older,  with whom I had nothing in common,   If I had to make a list of requirements for a life partner, he certainly did not fit the criteria. Twenty four years later it seems to have worked.   I don’t analyse it!

So here I am pen in hand, trying to make a list of where I want to be in twelve months time.

Well actually I would like to

                                                          1) win the lottery

     2) buy an apartment in Paris 
                              3) Visit as often as I want in my private jet!
         4) Also travel the world please.

Just tell me Ms Manager, how are you going to facilitate THAT?

love from Bolton


5 thoughts on “

  1. Love, LOVE this post! Life is what happens when you are making plans. And life happens when you don't plan it to at all.Thank you for your honesty, your frankness, your openness in sharing your highest and lowest moments. That is a life. We are the sum of our experiences, good and bad.Denise, you make me like your blog more with every post."LIKE"JoPS don't forget me when you win that lottery. We have the same dream, lol


  2. Good morning Jo…..so glad you enjoyed this post. Sometimes I wonder how frank to be here. But that is me. I no longer have anything to hide.When I win the lottery you will be invited to stay in my Paris apartment and I will have a big party for all my like minded friends!Have a good day.Love Denise.


  3. Denise, what a beautiful post! You have been through so much and yet at the end of the day your philosophy of taking life one day at a time has come good for you and made you the lovely thoughtful person you are.A big LIKE from me as welllove Janet


  4. And another big LIKE from me, Denise! Please remember to include my name on the invitation list for your party – at least that's if you still want to talk with us after you own a private jet and all! Just kidding…because I truly believe that you, of all people, would still be the same person if you won the lottery.


  5. Janet and Mary Kay….glad you liked the post. I am always amazed when people read my musings. I was just a bit P..d off at the stupid appraisal. Janet, thanks for you comments but I am not unique. We all have a story in us. I am just an ordinary woman who has had ups and downs in their lives….Ok three marriages is a bit unusual LOL! more a triumph of hope over experience! Of course you can all come and fly in my private jet and stay in my apartment. drink champagne and eat wonderful food. I once was given a private viewing of the best suite at the Shangri La..Oh my, the terrace overlooked the Eiffel tower and it had a private kitchen where the celebrity chef could prepare private dinners. Yo can find me there if my numbers come up…. Oh what a nice dream, what I would do…………DeniseLove from Bolton.


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